A beginning by any other name is still a beginning.

Driving home from town in the driving rain...you know those nights. It's really dark, the wipers are frantically dashing back and forth kicking off the fat rain, everything you can see is a blur of red and white lights, sporadic lakes cause you to think of all that you learned about hydroplaning while in driving school when you were 16...I'm trying to stay focused but my head keeps doing what it has been doing for the past several weeks, maybe even months. My narrative voice starts talking. I practically start talking back, "Ssshhhh! Don't you see that I'm driving in some serious conditions here??" A minute or two pass, and I'm back to thinking about what I'm going to blog about when I get home. "Just get home in one piece please, for heck's sake..." No, that's crap, I never say "heck" I'm just about as salty as one can be. My mouth is so foul I have to work at not swearing around my children just about every day. You know that part during "Inside the Actor's Studio" when host James Lipton reverently asks some terrifically famous person what their favorite swear word is and they think on it a moment or two then deliver their answer with delicious revel? My answer is: I love and abuse THEM ALL. There might be one or two I tend not to frequent, (let's see: shit, piss, crap, fuck, motherfucker, fuck all, fucking cocksucker, shithead, asshole, that's most of them, I'd say cunt rarely rolls off my tongue, but I don't hold it against those who favor it - except Mel Gibson when refering to the mother of his latest child, what a DICK!) but they do help to release daily tensions....



And that brings us back to why we are here; DAILY TENSIONS - yes, that is the cause of this random verbage. I have been a woman on the edge for far to long and this blog is my last ditch effort to save myself from utter mental collapse so let the healing begin....



I certainly thought, but where should I start? Of course one of the obvious answers being: It's always best if you start at the beginning, (thank you Glinda, I will never forget your sage advice) however, that is such a long story. At times a very sad one. There will be plenty of time to go over the sad parts later. Right now I'm interested in disclosing some basic current facts.



One, I've never done anything like this before. What I mean is to say, I've never posted my personal thoughts "publically" to "an audience."

Two, I don't expect anyone in the world to give a crap what I have to say.

Three, I know next to nothing about blogging. As in, I don't know of any blogging ettiquete, rules, or norms.



So that basically leaves me wide open for screw ups, accidents, offenses, personal and otherwise, and other general faux pas. Perhaps as my inevitable offenses land here on my blog like hot scrambled eggs on a dirty kitchen floor, I'll quickly pick them up and then figure it out as I go (like Indiana Jones) and with any luck, someone might toss me hint once and a while as tact has never been my strong point.



Anyway, tonight as I write, I find myself a wife, a mother of three, a suburban resident, and other things I never thought I'd actually be, and I'm well, grappling with my reality. Wait, isn't there a Talking Heads tune that says all this? So I need to channel some of this pent up energy and thus, a blog.



I don't expect much, I certainly don't expect my life to change, I just hope. I hope that with a little channeling of this narrative voice in my mind, I'll free up some head space to accomplish a few other goals. Mostly, I just want to be a decent person, a good mother to my kids, fuck knows they deserve it. There isn't a kid born on this god forsaken planet that doesn't at least deserve that.



11:00pm, time to go see if The Daily Show is live tonight. I'll always hold a spot in my heart for you, Jon Stewart.