Silly, Silly Woman

I've been avoiding this blog page like a relentless telemarketing phone call.  And it just might continue.  I've become paralyzed by my own thoughts.  There have been thoughts, I've had several, I might be so bold as to say I've had many.  Yet somehow, I manage to kill the expressive process with one simple thought:  it's all been said.  It has become my mantra.  And though it is true, it shouldn't stop me from publishing, (I love, "publishing,") my ridiculous ramblings no matter how bland, foolish, or redundant.  This is my little nook, my corner, my electronic notebook.  No one reads it; it's about as hidden as my old journals I used to keep since the age of....well, eight.
So I'm going to continue to have thoughts for a little while longer, and well, we'll just see I suppose.

There is Nothing New Under the Sun

It's been so long that I nearly forgot my password.  I am overly in touch with the feeling that it's all been said.  Why bother when there is already so much out there.   Despite the self-deprecating truth, I'm going to  slowly brush off the rust and get back in the saddle.  This is my Time Out Location.   I'm going to use it; 'cause I need a time out.
But that's it for tonight because I'm toast, once again.

Halloween 2010 - it's a wrap

So, Halloween was a complete success - complete with cold windy weather, Claudia had to wear a turtle neck underneath her leotard and sweatpants under her tutu - both pink of course, Alicia was an eager trick-or-treating cow, and Alex was a very cool and studly Storm Trooper.  I absolutely love Halloween for so many reasons, but not as an adult, as in: I can't wait to dress up as a tarty school girl/nurse/cop/bar maid/witch/you name it, but as in, I cherish the nostalgia of it for my kids sake.  It is a magical time of freedom and maturation for them.  I believe this.  Our friends saw us and chided that we didn't bother to dress up and of course I just smiled and said some line about yeah, not this year, blah blah blah, but truthfully, I could care less about dressing up - it's my kid's turn to be kids and have the fun.  I'm happy just to take in the senses - the cold air, the sun dipping down, the stupid decorations that people bother to put up around their front doors.  It's all community fun.  Anyway, I'm proud of myself for giving my kids a great Halloween this year with decorations, pumpkin carving, seed toasting etc... having my aunt here made it that much more special to share the time with. 
And now, it's November....

So so sooooooo tired

My brain is just flat-lining. The house is so quiet, I can hear the sound of the clock ticking, the dog breathing, (yup, he's still here) and my 18 month old wake and fall back to sleep, (thank you). Had a long conversation with a friend today on the phone. Wish I could stay in closer touch with all my friends. I miss being close with them, but life takes everyone on a different path and sometimes it takes more effort to stay close. How did life get so busy?

Halloween is coming and I 'aint got no costume

Halloween is just two weeks away and I have to put together costumes for the entire family. The baby is at least set with a hand-me-down, homemade cow costume that I created for her older brother when he was two and the only kid in the family. So, with the help of good storage, the baby is set - we've even got the bell. \

Last year I managed to pull together costumes for everyone, even Daddy, (Indiana Jones) for a wild party we attended ("we attended" - yeah, it was in the basement of the firehouse) but this year, I don't know if I can pull it off. The three year old keeps changing her mind. The boy knows what he wants to be, but the mom knows that that particular costume runs about $40 at Target, so she's holding off hoping he might change his mind to something simpler, like say....a hobo?

The weather is getting dramatic, the air is crisp and cool. I love this time of the year, but I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that my birthday is coming in two weeks.

Yes, in truth I still love my birthday. Big deal or small, I actually love sitting around a table hearing people sing happy birthday to me. Is that narcissism or do I merely have a case of Peter Pan Syndrome? Wait, could that be right? Peter Pan never grew up, so how could he have had birthdays?

my boy, the scout

We went to the "Thunderbird Games" today up at Croton Park. It was fairly mild and sunny, but the wind was whipping something wicked and the Hudson River was full of muddy chop. Alex and I wore our uniforms, so new they still had their original creases in them. I haven't put our patches and badges on yet, because I made an attempt to sew them on and, well, that just wasn't going to happen, so I need to go out and buy some liquid stitch or badge magic - one of the two.

The Thunderbird Games are huge - there are thousands of kids and parents participating in all kinds of cool activities from the stuff I can describe without much trouble (archery, sling shot, bouncy castle) to other stuff that would take a really long time to explain, (a kid is on what looks like a fashioned together easel that is tethered at the top with 5 ropes that 5 leaders are holding onto the ends of, trying to balance this kid as he moves across the field...? huh?).

Alex was into it, I could tell, he tried a few of the activities and I stood and watched, beaming with pride I've never felt before. I'm a den leader now, that's where my life has brought me, and as long as my son has curiosity and enthusiasm for this, I will be right there with him.

I actually led my first den meeting last night - nearly all our scouts turned out which was 10, though I think we have a few more that have signed up. I was up to the task and had done my homework, which paid off because the meeting moved along pretty well with our cub promise reading, our pizza making, and our discussion about conifer and deciduous trees. Part of me felt like a complete geek and part of me felt like Supermom, holding the attention of nearly a dozen 6 year old boys, making them laugh and follow my lead. The honest truth is, I'm just doing this for Alex. I hope he enjoys it and has a good experience. I think he has all the makings of a thrifty, brave, and reverent kid. At the moment though, I think he's just into the cool uniform.

By the way, for those of you who are curious, the dog is still here. His paw is pretty bad, but he still manages to swipe food off the table when no one is looking, and today he barked a rabbit out of the neighbor's yard.

ABCDPBS

On 21, Ani DiFranco grates music out of her guitar and sings her poetry in front of a small and devoted audience of mostly females without make up / on 22 Jacques Pepin makes a chestnut cream Mont Blanc and uses some truffles a friend gave him, he uses a peeler to make thin slices while gnocchi begins to swell in a pan...

I believe Edward R. Murrow was one of the original minds behind public television. He knew there should be programming on television of a quality and standard that mustn't be tainted by the need for ratings. Programming that provided art and information, that told the human story with public diplomacy was necessary, he thought, to make good television.

I think if there were more PBS viewers, the world might be a better place. I seriously believe one of the things wrong with us as a society can be found in "Dancing with the Stars." I couldn't tell you exactly what that thing is, mostly because I don't watch it, but I'm almost certain I'm right.